Full Moon 13

Crazy lady rants

July 8, 2013- another beginning

Every time I start my “lifestyle change” part of me just wants to listen to the debbie downer in me that says, “what’s the point”. I know I’m not going to stay within my allotted calories for the day,  I know within a week I’m going to fail and quit until the next mood of the little engine that could kicks in and I know I am never going to see 135 pounds. BUT, I also know that if I never try, I will never know if I could or not. So I continue to try, try and try again and again.

So I used this http://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php

to calculate my weight and target date. It’s pretty neat. Basically it’s truth smacking you in the face. In other words it tells you you’re going to need to cut the bullshit, get serious, put down the sodas, junk foods and stop putting stuff in your mouth when you’re standing up. It’s the only way to achieve your goal.  SOOOO my Losertown Calorie Maintenance Calculator told me, that

eating 1800 calories and working out 3-5x a week it will take me deep into the year 2014 to meet my goal.

eating 1500 calories and working out 3-5x a week will take me to July 7th 2014 to see 135

eating 1300 calories and working out 3-5x a week it will take me to April 14, 2014 to see 135.

That’s my long term goal. I have a short term goal of hitting 165. HAHA actually any weight less than 190 is my short term goal 1 pound at a time.

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Starting Over—-AGAIN! for the 1,000th time

By now I am supposed to weigh my goal weight of 135. HAHAAA that’s funny! OK, not really. It’s very sad, and discouraging. On the bright side it shows that no matter how many times I fail, I keep trying. So I’m going to go back a few years, 7 to be exact and start you off where this whole mess started.

In 2006 I was a thick, not fat but I did have extra meat on me than I should have. I wasn’t too concerned. Sometime that summer I got pregnant with my 1st and the weight piled on. In March 2007 I gave birth to beautiful healthy 7 pound baby girl. My delivery weight was 195 and my body never left 191 after that. So in 2010 I got pregnant with my 2nd child and lost 11 pounds during the pregnancy due to all day sickness. I delivered at 202 pounds in January 2011. After delivery I dropped down to 169 pounds and OMG how I loved seeing that number. I didn’t see anything below 190 since 2006!

I slowly gained a few pounds staying steady around 174, I wasn’t so much concerned with my weight because I was too busy caring for my newborn. Fast forward to October 2011, I was depressed, hated life, hated where I lived and everyone and everything. I was in a bad place. So, I decided to get away for a while and visit my family in Virginia. I told my husband I’m going down south I don’t know for how long or when I’ll be back.

I found a house down there and started the process to purchase it. Fast forward through a bunch of buying troubles, moving 500 miles away, living with the parents for 4 months longer than planned, getting engaged and moving into the new house in April 2012. I am now weighing in at 197. From October at 174 to April 1 at 197. sad sad sad.

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