Full Moon 13

Crazy lady rants

I deleted all my friends on facebook! (except my husband) Part 1

Before you read this blog or any other blog I’ve written I must forewarn you that while I pick on other people’s grammar, punctuation, and spelling… mine isn’t all that great when I write. I can easily pick up on the mistakes of others.   I do know the difference between are, our, there, their, and they’re, and, an, then, than…etc so give me some credit.   (ok, now enjoy yourself breaking out the red pen and circling, “x”ing out the mistakes and fixing it all. Better yet, start scribbling)

On September 26, 2014 I made a decision, one that most people in today’s world would consider CRAZY! or maybe unheard of, an unspeakable crime in the online world; I deleted all my friends off Facebook except my husband.

I always kept my friends list at 100 or less. I have never been the type to collect “friends” as if they were cute little pocket fuzzy pets, nope not my style. So, periodically I would go through my friends list and make sure those on there are people I actually care about.  Leading up to 9/26/14 I was getting annoyed at what seemed like everything. The completely insane world news that I just couldn’t wrap my God-fearing head around. The local news here in the USA was keeping me up at night. Some of my friends were chronic profile picture changers, like once a day to 2-3 times a week! talk about attention seeking??!! ughh gag me! This friend was sick, this one liked a page for another cancer baby or really ill child, This one’s xxxx died, this one was constantly referring to their dead family member as if they could read Facebook, this one hated their job so badly my newsfeed heard about it a few times every shift. Another one liked slutty twerking videos or booty pictures thinking nobody would see it, well I saw that they “liked” it.  The list goes on and on. Before I go any further let me explain all that. The sad news stories didn’t really annoy me as much as they broke my heart. I found myself praying constantly for friends and family and strangers, the city, the state, the country the world. I desperately needed a break from all of the heart ache.  I also got tired of Facebook telling every one of my friends exactly what I was doing on other sites. I’m sure there was a setting somewhere and most I changed to not tell Facebook, but Facebook has a peephole. (no, seriously it’s this little hole that the mean gremlins of Facebook look through, laugh and post your shopping, music, private photos, likes, comments so that ALLLL your friends see it and find out what a weirdo you really are!)

I have tried leaving Facebook before, but found myself logging in again after about 10 minutes. So this time I had to do something more drastic as a way to punish myself and make it more legit…I deleted everyone. Out of respect for my husband I kept him on there so he can still see what  I’m doing, it’s only right.   I need (need? really?) Facebook for this and that because the genius ass who invented this demon site made it so E-V-E-R-Y-thing links to it for a rather one click, no password to remember convenience. (Thanks Mark Z!)

Anyways, here it is a week out, wait, no… it’s only been 6 days! OMG 6 days!! that’s it??? uughhh

it’s not that bad, really. I get my fix (Hi, my name is Lizz and I’m a Facebook junkie) by still using Facebook and reading the awful news everyday and all my funny sites like Ellen DeGeneres and Kevin Heart, Fluffy and so on but I have to admit it is kind of lonely.

My boredom now gets bored! Is that even possible?  Here’s where it gets interesting, as I’m going through a slight withdrawal, I’m realizing I’m spending my time doing other things. I’m a stay at home mom and I’m not a very good one. My house is always a mess no matter how hard I try to keep it clean, my laundry is always piled to my eyeballs, my toddler finds a new canvas to draw on quite daily, (I need stock in Magic Eraser, cause those things are miracle workers)  I’m kind of a strict no fun lazy mom so “playing” is just something I don’t do. As a child nobody ever played with me, I had to entertain myself and I survived just fine. (that’s another story) Anyways, without Facebook friends I’m getting more around the house done. I’m looking up more often so I’m seeing the little things I may have missed before with my kids, (sad truth isn’t it?)  Most importantly, a life without Facebook friends is truly beautiful. I mean those who I mean something to will find a way to stay in touch and without them knowing what I’m doing all the time gives us something to talk about.  Those who mean something to me, I will reach out to and again we will have stuff to talk about because we don’t know each others business anymore.

This was a very hard step for me because 2 years ago I moved from my lifelong hometown in Pennsylvania to a little hole in the state of Virginia. Yes, it’s beautiful here in the mountains, yes it’s more peaceful and the people are a hell of a lot nicer, but truth is… it sucks! It sucks big fat monkey nuts! No Target! how can anyone live without a Target? OH but we have a Wal-Mart and TONS of fast food places. YAY! again, gag me! NO malls, no rap music, no rock music, just bluegrass and the good ol’ depressing broken heart love songs of Country. …BLAH!     I used Facebook as a way to keep in touch with all my peeps back home, but because I don’t work or have ways of finding new friends down here I used Facebook as my “world” my outlet, my only source of connection and it became my crutch. I had a bad day- Facebook was there.  I felt lonely or depressed, Facebook was there.  There was only one problem though… Facebook was, but 99% of my friends/family weren’t. Not because they didn’t care, but because who wants to hear about somebody’s negative moods? NOBODY! I became dependent on finding confirmation of almost everything I was doing, as if the opinion or “likes” really identified who I am as a person.

HOW did I allow myself to become so dependent on a social network to decide my self-worth? My beauty on a scale of how many “likes” or comments a photo received? I was one to never give a crap about what other people thought of me, now all of a sudden I fear a hair being out-of-place in a picture, or looking fat, or a double chin!  I realized that none of that matters. A post showed up on my newsfeed one day “those who mind, don’t matter & those who matter don’t mind”  DAMN RIGHT! That’s when I kept repeating that to myself and a few months later came to the conclusion that I have nothing to prove to anyone.  My REAL friends wouldn’t care how crazy, moody or ugly I am and those who had a problem with any part of me…didn’t matter! 

I miss my Facebook friends/family, 98% of them were very close to my heart, question is… how close to THEIRS was I?  If you think about it, friendships and families survived decades without social media. Those friends and family members who didn’t belong in our lives in the first place that social media brought together, well…. I don’t have that problem anymore either.

This is only week 1, I have plans for my children, my marriage and myself. Bare with me.  This is a healing process and I’ve taken the first step of acknowledging I had/have a problem.


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