Full Moon 13

Crazy lady rants

Growling echoes from the dark corners

I need a therapist that will make it more like a fancy tea party but with coffee and tissues that actually hold up to the tears you put in them,
A therapist that doesn’t cut you off at 45 minutes regardless of the level 10 breakdown you’re experiencing to tell you time is up.
A therapist that won’t force you to go from crying to “normal” within seconds so you can walk out and face strangers.
A therapist with night time appointments because those are the darkest hours of the tarnished soul growling echoes into every corner of your mind.
A therapist that will understand my breakdown is okay and not say the words “you need medicine” when what I really need is a break through and someone who understands my tears more than my words.
A therapist that won’t take things away from my kids because money is all they care about, leaving me to choose between talking to someone or getting my kid that thing they want or need. I will always choose my kids.
A therapist that isn’t writing every little thing I say down in jumbled notes completely misconstruing what I say.
A therapist that doesn’t look for “red flags” and “key words” and instead just listens to your over flooded spirit pouring out emotions in the form of nonsense word vomit that even I don’t understand.
A therapist that doesn’t try to numb you with a cocktail of experimental drugs that only worsens your problems or gives you issues you didn’t even have in the first place.
A therapist that will speak truth to you because that’s what you need to hear, not the nonchalant safe suggestions as if she’s walking on delicate egg shells terrified of breaking one. Even though I am one.
A therapist that you can speak freely to without fear of judgements or embarrassments.
A therapist that will understand the hurt and pain behind my silence on days I can’t talk at all.
A therapist that loves my broken pieces because she knows when I’m glued back together I am a fun, loving, sweet, funny person who’d give my all to help someone else to feel happy.
Ever wonder why I try so hard to make others happy? Because I know what it feels like to want to die thinking nobody gives a shit and I don’t want anyone else to feel that way. But right now, I’m so down I can’t help anyone else and that breaks my heart.
A therapist that doesn’t have a doctors degree and answers to the title of FRIEND.
I need a therapist friend.

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