Blue Girl 208pounds

Crazy lady rants

Wild Turkey Shenanigans while driving home…

Driving home from Wal-Mart and I’m cruisin’ down the road admiring the beauty in dying fall trees; when a group of turkeys start running in a field I’m approaching. The front turkey is hauling ass, like he’s about to take flight. So I’m a total idiot and never thought about turkeys flying, I just assumed they were always headless, featherless, smothered in butter & seasoning roasting in an oven. Anyway, so I’m getting closer, he’s running faster and as soon as I start laughing at this turkey running, (’cause have you seen one? It’s hilarious) the little bastard takes flight right as I’m about to approach his take off spot, I’m yelling OMG it’s a turkey, no turkey NOOO! As he appears he’s going to either smack my windshield or bird bomb me through my open window. I start to squint waiting on impact of some kind when I notice his clique not far behind. Now I’m laughing harder cause there are like 5 of these strange Thanksgiving dinner meats hauling ass about to take off. I’m still yelling “NOO! STOP TURKEY STOOOPP!” because again, I’m an idiot and I think these birds can not only hear me but actually obey my commands.
Well, I escaped with no dinner meat beak lodged in my face, my car escaped with no ground turkey stuck in its grill, and all the little roadrunner type birds escaped peacefully having no clue they scared some silly white city chick half to death. 😂🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🚗
#adayinthelifeoflizzie #citygirlinthecountry #countrylife #idontbelonghere

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